Some of you have wondered about my unusually long silence and I don’t blame you. I am embarrassed too when I look at my last publishing dates but thankful at the same time for those who have been loyal to my blog, contacted me privately to ask about my life, or simply taken time to comment old posts.
For almost six months now I have been suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), more known today as the Kate Middleton condition, and life has been about daily nausea and vomiting. Yes, I am pregnant and contrary to many common presumptions, I am definitely not having the time of my life. My husband thinks I look like a prima donna from the Paris Opera but I wonder if he ever went to see an opera. In reality, I look and feel like this tree.
To say the least, it has been very tough to handle the daily life. Instead of cooking (something I love), I now throw some frozen industrial food into the oven. All sorts of smells trigger the nausea so without rare exceptions (like Christmas), I haven’t been able to visit our favorite food market in Bastille (Sunday Market). In addition, I have developed some very strange eating habits that have come in phases: two weeks of mashed potatoes from morning until evening, industrial soups for another two weeks’ period, then bagels, then something else. Lots of potatoes and wheat –ingredients easy to throw up!
I am aware that all this sounds very strange and hard to believe unless one has had personal experience with HG. I cannot even believe this myself. I am a rather practical and realistic person, and never had too many illusions about pregnancy, but I could have never imagined either that something supposedly so magic could make one so sick. It seems neither natural nor fair (but hey, life is not about fairness, right).
So, apart from eating difficulties, how else has HG affected my daily life? Well, I do nothing that I used to do, so it has changed everything. In the first months, when all this started, I stayed in bed all day long, closed my eyes and tried to sleep as much as possible as it was the only state when I didn’t feel nauseous. Unfortunately, as I realized, a human being cannot sleep 24 hours per day! I also stopped looking at Facebook and Internet because there were too many food photos (oysters that I usually love became the worst; only a thought and I would throw up). I stopped reading because it felt more challenging than climbing Mount Everest. I went to the movies once but brought along a bag to vomit in. Apart from a brief, odd phase of ramen soups (Sapporo: one of the best cheap ramen in Paris) and few other exceptions, I haven’t been to restaurants (and we usually go twice a week!). As I work independently, I haven’t been able to accept any contracts and clients. I had to cancel all the trips. When I finally started taking medicines (my husband took me to the emergency room after I had been vomiting nonstop for hours), I got a little bit better and we decided to go on holidays (Miami, here we come!), but the trip made my condition worse. On my birthday I was lying on the sunbed, turned my head toward the sand to vomit, and the vomit hit my shoes. Yes, you can laugh. I may be able to laugh too one day. I hope.
I think it is fair to say that HG has eaten away my personality (and dignity, I feel), and I am afraid I will never be myself again.
So, this blog post. A long explanation to a long silence. I may or may not be back soon, and certainly hope that it will be sooner than later. One of the basic needs of a human being is to be creative and I miss that (amongst other things).
What is Hyperemesis Gravidarum?
It is estimated that about 0.5-2% of pregnant women are touched by HG. Even the medical community is not very well aware of HG and what causes it, which makes things worse (support is rarely there). Most likely the doctor will dismiss the woman’s complaints by saying that nausea and vomiting are normal during the first trimester, and will disappear soon enough.
However, if the symptoms continue into the second (or worse, the third!) trimester, then it is important to act. There are some signs that tell the difference between the “normal” morning sickness and HG. For example, the latter makes one vomit a lot and systematically, and lose weight, and one will most likely need hospitalization and or medication in order to be able to continue living. As a basic rule, what helps to cope with the morning sickness doesn’t bring a lot of relief (if any) to someone suffering from HG. One can try acupuncture, ginger products, eating small snack and portions, homeopathy, etc, but most likely nothing will work. A great website to differentiate the morning sickness from HG is found here: http://www.helpher.org/blog/the-differences-between-morning-sickness-and-hyperemesis-gravidarum/
So, as cruel as it sounds like, to some extent HG accompanies the pregnancy during nine months, and the only cure is the birth.
In order to get help and support, I cannot over-emphasize the fact that one needs to understand that the morning sickness and HG have almost nothing to do with each other. Once you know what you have, things will probably get emotionally better. The doctor, family and friends should take your condition more seriously when you start introducing yourself as someone suffering from HG (do not forget to specify that HG is different from the morning sickness –this way you can hopefully avoid listening to annoying comments like “have you tried ginger ale?”).
I hope this post will help some other women suffering from HG, and should you have questions or need support, you can always contact me publicly or privately by my blog or by Pearlspotting Facebook page. Even if I may not be writing new posts, I do always respond to comments.